Salt and Light: The Life Model
By Brent Davis, Campus Ministry Coordinator
In a child’s first two years, the desire to experience joy in loving relationships is the most powerful force in life. In fact, some neurologists now say that the basic human need is to be the “sparkle in someone’s eye.” When you catch a glimpse of a child’s face as she runs toward an awaiting parent with arms outstretched in unrestrained joy, you can witness firsthand that incredible power that comes from “being the sparkle in someone’s eye.” When this joy is the strongest force in a child’s world, life makes sense, because children look forward to moments when they can reconnect to joy – by being with their beloved. Wonderfully enough, that innocent, pure desire that begins in childhood continues throughout life. Life makes sense and is empowered by joy when people are in relationship with those who love them and are sincerely “glad to be with them.” Because joy is relational, it is also a contagious experience. Joy is produced when someone is “glad to see me”, which stirs up a bit of joy in me. Then my joy is returned and the giver’s joy is increased as well. This experience goes back-and-forth at amazingly fast rates – six cycles per second in a nonverbal, face-to-face exchange – all the time growing stronger “joy” between both people. Joy also comes from being in a relationship with God. (Wilder, E. James; Friesen, James G.; Bierling, Anne; Koepcke, Rick; Poole, Maribeth. Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition (p. 48). Shepherd’s House, Inc.. Kindle Edition.)
In the above quote, Dr. Wilder points to the normal state of a whole and mature person—joy. This may sound like hedonism, but there are a couple of important differences: 1) you can have joy in suffering, and 2) you find joy in relationships, not selfish activities. The Life Model described in the book by Wilder et al. (2013) combines a biblical understanding of maturity with attachment theory based on the neuroscience of Allan Schore (2000). There is a saying: “You are what you eat.” Perhaps we could rephrase this as: “You are as who gives you joy.” In other words, we form a group identity and become like more mature people who give us joy—who are glad to be with us. This is part of what we are trying to accomplish with Salt and Light, a group that develops maturity and joy.
Many people struggle with having joy because of trauma. Trauma could be due to abuse or a lack of joyful attachment in childhood. The Immanuel Approach (Lehman, 2016) can help one to restore the proper functioning of the limbic system through interactive prayer so that one can fully benefit from a community of joy.
Let’s live together in joy!
References
Lehman, K. D. (2016). The Immanuel approach: For emotional healing and for life. Immanuel Publishing.
Schore, A. (2000). Attachment and the regulation of the right brain. Attachment & Human Development 2(1), 23-47. https://www.allanschore.com/pdf/SchoreAttachHumDev.pdf
Wilder, E. J., Friesen, J. G., Bierling, A., Koepcke, R., & Poole, M. (2013). Living from the heart Jesus gave you (15th anniv. study ed.). Shepherd’s House, Inc.
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